Surrogacy experience: The surrogate mother's perspective. Nicole Eddy

Just a few months ago, Nicole gave birth to a baby for another family, fulfilling their dream and adding a new chapter to her own life story as a surrogate mother. Here’s Nicole’s story:

Path of Life

“For the past 30 years, I’ve lived in Houston, Texas. At 45 years old, my life is blessed with two incredible teenage boys, aged 16 and 14. I work as a full-time administrative assistant, managing marketing, client relationships, and all the typical administrative tasks. Recently, I ventured into surrogacy, and the baby from this amazing experience was born just 8 months ago, on May 8, 2023.”

Inspiration for Surrogacy

“After my youngest son was born, I came across an article about surrogacy that deeply resonated with me. I felt that it could be a wonderful experience to help another family. Unfortunately, the idea didn’t progress beyond conducting some online research. However, surrogacy remained a constant presence in my heart and mind.

In fact, it became such a significant part of my thoughts that every passing year made me conscious of my aging and the fear that I might become too old to realize my surrogacy dream. I wanted to do something meaningful so that when I get old, I could look back on my life and say, “I accomplished this one great thing; I helped a family.”

Over time, I revisited online research on surrogacy, but most information was centered around agency qualifications that seemed to exclude me based on age. So, the idea just lingered in my mind.”

Meeting the Right Family

“Meeting the right family was a beautiful coincidence. My friend was telling me stories about a wonderful couple she had recently met. Eventually, she mentioned that they were looking for a surrogate. She didn’t know that I had been considering surrogacy myself. I immediately said, ‘I always wanted to do that!’

Although my friend encouraged me to meet the couple, I had some doubts. I felt I might be too old, that it could turn my life upside down, and I initially refused, stating that I didn’t think it was a good idea.

Two weeks passed, but I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. I realized it wouldn’t hurt just to meet them. When we finally did, it was all smiles and huge hugs. We got along so well that we decided to embark on the surrogacy journey together.”

The Journey Begins

“We linked arms and commenced the surrogacy process immediately, starting in December 2021. The mother handled all the lead work related to doctors and fertility clinics, while I immediately began fulfilling the necessary qualifications. First, I underwent psychological evaluations, followed by medical approvals. Everything went smoothly.

The embryo was transferred in August 2022. It was a truly special moment – music playing, medical staff, and the family by my side. It was amazing; with so much that could go wrong, everything was just so right. We were successful with our first try.”

Pregnancy

“We were blessed with a healthy pregnancy. Although I had only one moment that scared us - I faced Subchorionic hematoma that caused bleeding. We rushed to the hospital, and thankfully, it all passed, and I continued to have a very healthy pregnancy.

The day before the baby was born, I had a beautiful spiritual moment. I was petting my pregnant belly, and with tears rolling down my cheeks I said goodbye. I thanked the baby for his time in my life and told him, “You’re in good hands; our journey together is over.” I felt released.

I truly wanted a good birthing experience, so I hired a doula for myself. When I felt the contractions, my doula arrived; I put into practice the breathing techniques I learned, centered myself, and felt amazing and strong even through delivery. The parents were there the whole time and caught their baby.

After I got to hold the baby the next day, we had a little special moment. I was holding him and speaking when he opened his eyes, smiled at me, and closed them shut again. I noticed he recognized my voice and that was a beautiful goodbye.”

Close with the parents

“Throughout the entire journey, I was very close with the parents. I kept in contact with the mother every day and met often, as I only lived just an hour away. We had fun times celebrating a gender reveal party and a baby shower. The family cared for me, sending gifts to ensure my comfort.

We still keep in touch and I watch him grow through social media. Our families reunited after five months and it was beautiful to hold the baby once again after carrying him for so long. We will always be in touch.”

Connection to Baby

“People often ask me how it is possible to carry a baby, but not feel a connection to it. I do have a connection, but it is so different from that of a mother. I was an important warm place to carry their baby. I had my job hat on; I didn’t have a mom hat on. I have no DNA connection, not even a blood type. There is a deep understanding that the baby is and will always be the family’s child.”

Formalities

“Speaking about the formalities, surrogacy in Texas is legal. There are many ways to pursue it, whether through an agency or independently, as I did. Everything depends a lot on the signed contract, and the compensation varies due to several factors. I was in the lower range because I was a first-time surrogate, which is from 25-35,000 US dollars.”

Story to Tell

“This has been a life-changing experience for me. It showed me what I’m capable of. I truly felt like I was a portal for a soul. I now have an incredible story to tell - a story about a journey that started with a wish and grew into a life. So be careful what you wish for because it might come true.”